Oh, the joys of traveling! From Pensacola to Orlando; quick visit from Orlando to Pensacola then back to O-town; from Orlando to Richmond; from Richmond to Orlando; from Orlando to SE Asia... the journeys will be memorable, for sure.
I am in the process of preparing for living in another country for a couple years, and even though I may be understanding more & more of the Goal- I still feel like I need signs, instructions, and specific directions. Why? Well, because of the pride in my life and desire to hold a title of being "independent", it seems I want something in which I have quite a clear vision of. This gets me thinking. [[When I think, most times I like to listen to songs..my close friends can attest to that- especially you, Ali :)]] There is a specific song called "Vision of You" by Shane & Shane. Some lyrics to this are: "Awaken what's inside of me, tune my heart to all You are, even though You're here, God come. May the vision of You be the death of me, even though You've given everything, Jesus come." This really describes things so well! All I want is the vision of Him and for it to be clear...all that looks like is being in His will. Simple. No need to make it complicated, to put it in my hands or attempt to envision what is hidden and known by the Father alone.
As thoughts are coming through my brain and making their way onto the screen, I'm reminded of how I need new windshield wipers. (Wait for it) Can you imagine driving through a harsh storm and not having decent wipers that help you better prepare for what's ahead? It's pretty rough. Not too fun being unequipped for long trips, either. Well, so is the vision we partake of 'life'. If you happen to have a strong grip on what direction you're going and have a specific way that you want the Father to do something, you may want to take a step back & turn those wipers on; get a clearer view at whose Hands your future is in.
How clear is our vision of Dad's will? How much do we let Him do His thing- in control?
Is. 45:19 "I did not speak in secret, in a land of darkness; I did not say to the offspring of Jacob, 'Seek Me in vain.' I the Lord speak the truth; I declare what is right."
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
Saturday, November 20, 2010
What Brings You Low?
So, I sit in front of my computer again, pondering on how to put thoughts//feelings//concepts//lessons learned all into a 'blog'. I have not updated in quite awhile, and honestly, there has been much that's changed in my life since the last time.
Late July of this past summer I dislocated my kneecap playing basketball with friends. I was rushed to the ER and given an immobilizing brace & crutches, and didn't pretty much left to recover. After: 1) having my knee drained out twice (because of the effusion), 2) going to about three different orthopedic doctors, 3) attempting the 'recovery process' too soon, 4) struggling with sleeping & simply walking around like a normal person, and 5) finally beginning physical therapy after all kinds of insurance issues since turning 22, I have learned a lot.
Humility is a precious and important thing...which was very difficult for me to attain in such circumstances; I like to do things on my own. I already knew this about myself before this injury occurred but man, I can be stubborn.
*Humans need assistance* The Lord is perfect at giving them what they need; it may be through other humans, the abundance of blessings He puts in their lives, or trials and tribulation. In my case, it's been all. I struggled so long to let God open my eyes to the necessity of allowing my friends to do things for me.
In a previous blog, I already wrote about the humility of Jesus... I can't even accurately describe Him because His meekness is unfathomable in my imperfect sinful mind! And now here I am attempting to be like Him, in His perfect character, and fail countless times. Praise God for Jesus' blood and sanctification.
As I am still healing four months after the injury, patience has become so much more than an important virtue in my life. [Kinda funny because I don't remember specifically asking the Lord to give me patience before I hurt my knee...but goodness did He hear lots of requests for it since then!] Things started to frustrate me so quickly and I tried to depend on myself many times, but that's when it got to be more frustrating. Needless to say, I was desperate for the Lord's grace in my impatience and selfishness. Praise God for Jesus' blood and sanctification.
"The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The lord is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works. All Your works shall give thanks to You, O Lord, and Your godly ones shall bless You." Psalm 145:8-10
After humorous memories with the roommates and friends, random things said from Lortab, difficulty walking up and down stairs or down a hallway, I have come to appreciate my knee going out of place.
---Job 5:18---
-->Neat fact: "humus" means the organic component of soil/decomposed organic matter/ basically EARTH.<-- Humility comes from Humus. My knee was broken. God brought me down to the earth. :)
Praise the glorious name of Jesus Christ.
Late July of this past summer I dislocated my kneecap playing basketball with friends. I was rushed to the ER and given an immobilizing brace & crutches, and didn't pretty much left to recover. After: 1) having my knee drained out twice (because of the effusion), 2) going to about three different orthopedic doctors, 3) attempting the 'recovery process' too soon, 4) struggling with sleeping & simply walking around like a normal person, and 5) finally beginning physical therapy after all kinds of insurance issues since turning 22, I have learned a lot.
Humility is a precious and important thing...which was very difficult for me to attain in such circumstances; I like to do things on my own. I already knew this about myself before this injury occurred but man, I can be stubborn.
*Humans need assistance* The Lord is perfect at giving them what they need; it may be through other humans, the abundance of blessings He puts in their lives, or trials and tribulation. In my case, it's been all. I struggled so long to let God open my eyes to the necessity of allowing my friends to do things for me.
In a previous blog, I already wrote about the humility of Jesus... I can't even accurately describe Him because His meekness is unfathomable in my imperfect sinful mind! And now here I am attempting to be like Him, in His perfect character, and fail countless times. Praise God for Jesus' blood and sanctification.
As I am still healing four months after the injury, patience has become so much more than an important virtue in my life. [Kinda funny because I don't remember specifically asking the Lord to give me patience before I hurt my knee...but goodness did He hear lots of requests for it since then!] Things started to frustrate me so quickly and I tried to depend on myself many times, but that's when it got to be more frustrating. Needless to say, I was desperate for the Lord's grace in my impatience and selfishness. Praise God for Jesus' blood and sanctification.
"The Lord is gracious and merciful; slow to anger and great in lovingkindness. The lord is good to all, and His mercies are over all His works. All Your works shall give thanks to You, O Lord, and Your godly ones shall bless You." Psalm 145:8-10
After humorous memories with the roommates and friends, random things said from Lortab, difficulty walking up and down stairs or down a hallway, I have come to appreciate my knee going out of place.
---Job 5:18---
-->Neat fact: "humus" means the organic component of soil/decomposed organic matter/ basically EARTH.<-- Humility comes from Humus. My knee was broken. God brought me down to the earth. :)
Praise the glorious name of Jesus Christ.
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Offering our lives to you, a holy sacrifice...
I realize I have not blogged in quite a long time, and a lot has been going through my mind lately, so I'm gonna see what comes of it through this post.
I have been listening to a song over & over again that I really cannot get enough of; it's called 'All I have is Christ'. I talked to a few friends about this song a few months ago when I first heard it, and they made the point that the author/singer is not just saying "Oh ya! I got Christ! It's a great life! Woop woop!" No. This song is clearly the portrait of who we were before dying & being raised up into Christ, what He did to us [redeemed & saved], and who He is constantly sanctifying us to be [living, humble sacrifices offering ourselves to Him]. These are the lyrics:
I once was lost in darkest night, yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy & life had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own a rebel to Your will,
And if You had not loved me first, I would refuse You still..
But as I ran my hell-bound race indifferent to the cost,
You looked upon my helpless state, and led me to the cross.
And I beheld God's love displayed, You suffered in my place.
You bore the wrath reserved for me, now all I know is grace!
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!
Now Lord I would be Yours alone, and live so all might see.
The strength to follow Your commands could never come from me.
Oh Father use my ransomed life in any way You choose.
And let my song forever be, my only boast is You!
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!
How am I even worthy for Him to consider reaching down and saving me? Why would He want to cover me in His grace & mercy? Why do anything with my life, when He is God in heaven whether I'm here or not? BUT--good news--He chose to demonstrate His love for me (& you) while we were yet sinners... Praise be to God, to say the least!
Lately I've been thinking about what "living and holy sacrifices" really look like (Rom. 12:1). While I was in Bali, one of the men I met while I was there showed a lot of interest in what my national partner was telling him about following Christ. Through our rough, broken translations, he made it seem like he was telling us he wanted to be like Jesus, referred to Rom. 12:1, and said he wanted to die. With our confusion and inability to successfully translate, we were telling him, "No, there's no need to! Jesus already did that once, and for all!"
A few days passed by, and our national partner finally made it clear to us that he was saying he wanted to BE a living sacrifice for the Lord Jesus Christ, as Jesus was the sacrifice for us sinners. Praise our Father! The problem with this, though, was that Pak was not willing to lay down his life, yet. He was still interested in the things of H* that he could not quite surrender his old life and put on a new self in Christ Jesus. He is still in our prayers.
All this to say, while being living sacrifices to the Lord, and allowing Him to work in & through us with the gifts and talents He's blessed each one of us with, we clearly are all different members. "For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Rom 12:4,5 Thank the Father that not all of us have desires to serve to homelessness & the hungry, or that we all are called to fill the schools and teach education, or that we all are meant to heal diseases and provide the best kind of medicine to the sick... praise God. If so, what would this world look like if a 'group' of them got neglected? Who would we be if we believed that one struggle was more significant than another? I am thankful for the body of Christ. May we be challenged daily to be living sacrifices for Him.
Here's a video of the song I mentioned above:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY-idvZYF0U
I have been listening to a song over & over again that I really cannot get enough of; it's called 'All I have is Christ'. I talked to a few friends about this song a few months ago when I first heard it, and they made the point that the author/singer is not just saying "Oh ya! I got Christ! It's a great life! Woop woop!" No. This song is clearly the portrait of who we were before dying & being raised up into Christ, what He did to us [redeemed & saved], and who He is constantly sanctifying us to be [living, humble sacrifices offering ourselves to Him]. These are the lyrics:
I once was lost in darkest night, yet thought I knew the way
The sin that promised joy & life had led me to the grave
I had no hope that You would own a rebel to Your will,
And if You had not loved me first, I would refuse You still..
But as I ran my hell-bound race indifferent to the cost,
You looked upon my helpless state, and led me to the cross.
And I beheld God's love displayed, You suffered in my place.
You bore the wrath reserved for me, now all I know is grace!
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!
Now Lord I would be Yours alone, and live so all might see.
The strength to follow Your commands could never come from me.
Oh Father use my ransomed life in any way You choose.
And let my song forever be, my only boast is You!
Hallelujah! All I have is Christ!
Hallelujah! Jesus is my life!
How am I even worthy for Him to consider reaching down and saving me? Why would He want to cover me in His grace & mercy? Why do anything with my life, when He is God in heaven whether I'm here or not? BUT--good news--He chose to demonstrate His love for me (& you) while we were yet sinners... Praise be to God, to say the least!
Lately I've been thinking about what "living and holy sacrifices" really look like (Rom. 12:1). While I was in Bali, one of the men I met while I was there showed a lot of interest in what my national partner was telling him about following Christ. Through our rough, broken translations, he made it seem like he was telling us he wanted to be like Jesus, referred to Rom. 12:1, and said he wanted to die. With our confusion and inability to successfully translate, we were telling him, "No, there's no need to! Jesus already did that once, and for all!"
A few days passed by, and our national partner finally made it clear to us that he was saying he wanted to BE a living sacrifice for the Lord Jesus Christ, as Jesus was the sacrifice for us sinners. Praise our Father! The problem with this, though, was that Pak was not willing to lay down his life, yet. He was still interested in the things of H* that he could not quite surrender his old life and put on a new self in Christ Jesus. He is still in our prayers.
All this to say, while being living sacrifices to the Lord, and allowing Him to work in & through us with the gifts and talents He's blessed each one of us with, we clearly are all different members. "For just as we have many members in one body and all the members do not have the same function, so we, who are many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another." Rom 12:4,5 Thank the Father that not all of us have desires to serve to homelessness & the hungry, or that we all are called to fill the schools and teach education, or that we all are meant to heal diseases and provide the best kind of medicine to the sick... praise God. If so, what would this world look like if a 'group' of them got neglected? Who would we be if we believed that one struggle was more significant than another? I am thankful for the body of Christ. May we be challenged daily to be living sacrifices for Him.
Here's a video of the song I mentioned above:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XY-idvZYF0U
Monday, March 29, 2010
Humility as Jesus had
Since I cannot sleep right now & I just cleaned our kitchen inside out... I've decided to blog. Today I was able to spend a lot of time with my local Church--the bride of Christ, His beautiful creation--and also had great pondering time! I learned a new song that was centered around the Church of Christ being a beautiful bride, learned about servant hood and how to biblically solve problems when they arise, meditated on the attributes of God in His perfect holiness, tried to play basketball, prayed with brothers & sisters, played some songs for Jesus, & just got to be with my Lord. What a beautiful Maker He is!
There are so many different thoughts that come to my mind, but really the only one that continues to come as clear as a bright summer day is that my God is great. He is greatly to be praised, He is gracious & merciful, slow to anger & great in lovingkindness, His greatness is unsearchable, so much so that all His godly ones should bless Him & speak of the glory of His kingdom & talk of His power! (Psalm 145) My human mind can only fathom so much of God's beauty and nature. Even today when I was on the courts I looked up and saw a rainbow; I was so mesmerized by it that when I pointed it out to my buddies I got knocked in the head from a missed shot! haha I wish I could always be captivated by the Lord...it's all in these small things that He uses to show me His love for me. It's amazing to just think that my God delights in revealing His glory to me and blessing me with His goodness! Who in the world am I to even deserve such a thing?!! Because of His Son's blood spilled on the cross that redeemed me from eternal separation from the Father, I am found blameless, without blemish before my beautiful King! Are you seeing this picture? Your darkness can be made light & white because of the red, cleansing, purifying blood of Jesus Christ that was sacrificed so that you may be reconciled to the Father, if you put your faith in Jesus alone! Wow. Col. 1:19-22
I have been burdened much more recently than normal for specific people in my life who are lost and also for brothers & sisters who are struggling or experiencing tribulations. It has been a wonderful sanctification process, though! The Lord has taught me a bit on humility, what it really looks like to cast my cares upon Him when I can do no more than pray...(1 Pet. 5:7) After discovering hard news about my dear friend whose baby went to be with Jesus, another friend who is unwilling to bend low to the earth & allow God to humble her, another who continues to reject the Good News each time I mention it, my life has been just becoming softer & softer into the clay that my Potter wants me to be! Fallen tears, discouraging talks, doubtful hearts, and continual prayers make me just desire my God to save & work in and through me even more! God's hand is NOT too short to save nor His ear too dull to hear (Isaiah 59:1)!
I realize this isn't much of an update on my life, but it is definitely what the Father has been working on in my heart for the past month-ish.. God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Will you humble yourselves before Him?
There are so many different thoughts that come to my mind, but really the only one that continues to come as clear as a bright summer day is that my God is great. He is greatly to be praised, He is gracious & merciful, slow to anger & great in lovingkindness, His greatness is unsearchable, so much so that all His godly ones should bless Him & speak of the glory of His kingdom & talk of His power! (Psalm 145) My human mind can only fathom so much of God's beauty and nature. Even today when I was on the courts I looked up and saw a rainbow; I was so mesmerized by it that when I pointed it out to my buddies I got knocked in the head from a missed shot! haha I wish I could always be captivated by the Lord...it's all in these small things that He uses to show me His love for me. It's amazing to just think that my God delights in revealing His glory to me and blessing me with His goodness! Who in the world am I to even deserve such a thing?!! Because of His Son's blood spilled on the cross that redeemed me from eternal separation from the Father, I am found blameless, without blemish before my beautiful King! Are you seeing this picture? Your darkness can be made light & white because of the red, cleansing, purifying blood of Jesus Christ that was sacrificed so that you may be reconciled to the Father, if you put your faith in Jesus alone! Wow. Col. 1:19-22
I have been burdened much more recently than normal for specific people in my life who are lost and also for brothers & sisters who are struggling or experiencing tribulations. It has been a wonderful sanctification process, though! The Lord has taught me a bit on humility, what it really looks like to cast my cares upon Him when I can do no more than pray...(1 Pet. 5:7) After discovering hard news about my dear friend whose baby went to be with Jesus, another friend who is unwilling to bend low to the earth & allow God to humble her, another who continues to reject the Good News each time I mention it, my life has been just becoming softer & softer into the clay that my Potter wants me to be! Fallen tears, discouraging talks, doubtful hearts, and continual prayers make me just desire my God to save & work in and through me even more! God's hand is NOT too short to save nor His ear too dull to hear (Isaiah 59:1)!
I realize this isn't much of an update on my life, but it is definitely what the Father has been working on in my heart for the past month-ish.. God opposes the proud and gives grace to the humble (James 4:6). Will you humble yourselves before Him?
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Leavin' On A Jet Plane
I began this blog on the 20th of August which was very close to my return to America, but I never did end up finishing it. I used what I started with & you can probably tell where I started writing tonight...
Well, my team & I have left the 3rd village and it doesn't feel right, almost! While we stayed there for 3 weeks, we lived with a family. It consisted of 2 boys (12 & 4 years old), a mother, father, and the mother's dad. Living with them truly was the main difference from everywhere else we've been, because in the other villages people primarily just visited frequently. We watched them morning after morning as they would enter their temples and offer their sacrifices & send up empty prayers to man-made objects & non-existent things...If you could only imagine the brokenness. It was such a huge joy, at the same time, to have so many different opportunities to talk with the family members. As we would read the Word, teach English through stories of significant characters we are all familiar with, and even just eat with them, we were able to talk about the One who could give them hope, make them free, guide them to light. Father totally opened up multiple doors with many people while we were there.
On the contrary, we also met people who had never heard His name before and were so lost. I was left speechless when I heard a woman say "no" to the question if she has ever heard of the Son before. My Savior! My redemption! She was clueless. She kind of just shrugged her shoulders as to say, "Well who is this Man you make seem so important?" Our partner shared a bit with her, but unfortunately the woman showed no interest. THAT is what breaks my heart.
Major praise that we were able to see an elderly man make an eternally changing decision to have JC in his heart!! The day still sits so clear in my head. Old friends were visiting and checking up on us and a translator walked to the back of the house to converse with the grandfather. Matter of 30 minutes she comes around the corner of the house with the Wonderful News!:D PtL!
There are so many quotes, situations, praises and requests [answered or still being lifted up] that I could insert in this blog, but that would make this blog probably about 6 pages long, so I'm trying to focus on some of the most significant ones. We were able to help the family pick coffee beans (yes, they grow on trees & they are abundant!), pr-walked a lot, eat about 4 dinners in one night, attend some unique ceremonies, spit our toothpaste out from the second floor (ha--only sometimes), listen to gamelan rap music and Jason Mraz from our teenage friends constantly, meet many wonderful little girls anxious to learn English and be something in this world, and establish priceless, irreplaceable relationships with people in that village-- which is very close to my heart. Even writing this now, every one of those things is so fresh in my mind. I grabbed my journal just in case I needed a quick refresher, but none was needed. The Father has blessed me greatly in allowing me to experience this past summer on another island...
I know that many of you have already heard my stories that I've told which relate to this life-change that happened to me, and you have also been able to see it in me on account of you telling me. Thank you. But, truly all glory to the One who made me and is enabling me to be living this life.
Plenty of things have happened since I have returned, as you can imagine, but my love for Him has grown stronger--being tossed in the waves while doubting every so often, but I am relying on His love for me and nothing from myself. For anything in me which is good is from the Father above, who loved me and gave Himself for me so that I might be rescued from this present evil age (Gal 1:4).
I would love to put people's names on here to pray for individually, but I will refrain from doing so for security purposes. Please lift up this precious island, though. The whole nation, actually. And ours, while you're at it. :D
The Lord said [referring to Jesus], "I am the Lord, I have called You in righteousness, I will appoint You as a covenant to the people & a light to the nations.." Isaiah 42. He is sovereign.
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